I'll just start by saying that the study of this theory probably changed the cursus of my life. I remember the day I heard about it the first time sitting in that overcrowded stadium at université de Mtl (they call it an undergraduated class).
I knew that whatever I ended up doing with my life it had to have something to do with this theory.
Developped by a couple geniouses only half a century ago, attachment theory is what I like to call the key to many, many questions. It is what unites us all no mather what social status, gender or ethnic backround.
What is attachment?
In 1950 john Bowlby came up with the hypothesis that early attachement (0 to 3 year old) is a innate set of beahviors present in the primates and most specialy in humans. The main idea behind the theory is that this set of definite behaviors are developped to increase chances of survival. Crying to get attention, looking towards the parent, looking to be close physicaly to the main parent during the first year of life are all signs of attachment. If for any reason the physical proximity is not given or is disturbed, it might lead to a series of symptoms that the baby will carry all its life.
If for a long period the infant does not receive the care he longs for, he might develop an attachment disorder.
Following this idea, Mary Ainsworth, one of Bowlby's students, created a scientifc procedure to measure attachment on yong children. It was named the Strange Situation Protocol . Through her studies, Ainsworth identified four different attachment styles in children: secure, anxious-avoidant, anxious-ambivalent and disorganized.
You developped a Secure attachment style as a baby if :
your parent responded appropriately, promptly and consistently to your emotional as well as your physical needs. Your attachment figure (most probably your mother) helped you regulate stress, and as a result, you used him/her as a secure base to go out and explore the environment.
Today, as an adult, you are confident that you deserve love and respect and are able to enjoy a sain and balanced love life. You are a curious person and you can cope with regular stress of daily life.
You are part of 60% of the population (northen industrialised societies)
You developped an Avoidant attachment style if: When you experienced a stress and showed it to your parent, he/she did not awnser properly to your need of confort. Your attachment figure encouraged you to be independent at a very young age and discouraged you from crying and asking for help.
Today you have a tendency to be overly independent and even avoid intimate relationships. You might think that your invulnerable and self-sufficient and don't need a relationship. When you do have a partner you rarely seek closeness. 20% of the population.
You developed an Ambivalent attachment style if: Your attachement figure couldn't be consistent. At times she could satisfy your needs appropiately and at other times she was neglectful. It wasn't easy for you to be secure enough to go play with your toys and explore your environment without her beeing constantly by your side. Inconsistency created deep anxiety.
Today it's not easy for you to trust your partners and you rarely allow yourself to get too close to someone. Usually, you see yourself as unworthy of a relationship or even of love. It is hard for you to express your feelings and to feel any intimacy with others. 15% of the population.
If you developped a Disorganized attachment style as a baby, it means you had a parent that could hardly be there to securise you. You acted frightened and confused around him/her. Because your parent did not help you develop an inner security, as a baby you couldn't explore and learn very fast. Your attachment figure was clearly neglectful and even abusive.
Unfortunately a huge percentage of these cases turn out to develop a psychopathology as an adult.
Only about 5% of the population has this style of attachment style.
Risks for pathology start at a very young age and attachment styles are frequently transmissible
from generation to generation. That is if you never knew how to develop a secure attachment realationship you will have difficulties building one with your own baby, and so on.
Don't you think any parent should know about this? Do you want to know more about attachment styles?
