Everyone knows someone «hard to live with» or just very difficult. Just as you and I can be a pain for others at times, people with personality disorders have a special difficulty dealing with others.
Personality Disorders are a cathegory of mental illness characterized by a persistent patthern of rigid thoughts and behaviors.
The DSM-IV lists 10 different personality disorders one of wich is the narcissistic personality disorder.
Individuals who developped a nacissistic personality overestimate themselves, enjoy very much being the center of attention and tend to« show off» . They may appear very secure in conversations and seem to have a fairly high self-esteem. However, people with this type of personality are not healthy, they are mentaly sick. Therefore, their self-esteem is not high or even low but extremely weak or inexistant.
They usually hide behind a grandiose mask and expect to be treated that way. This is why, they are extremely sensitive to criticism because they are supposed to be the best. Whenever a narcissistic experiences a defeat or commits an error he/she will feel higly ashamed for a long time. Shame or embarrassement are one of the most horrible feeelings we humans can live.
Shame is so hard to deal with that young children entering enter the social age (two/three) need support from a parent to deal with this feeling.
Those who laked this kinf of support will develop their own imature way to deal with it. Children will use their imagination to feel better and they will imaginate themselves as strong, powerful and important. This will become their self-defence mecanism against shame, directing shame outside of themselfs far from their self. «It's not my fault» will happen more and more.
Therefore shame is behind every unhealthy narcissism.
A very common way used to avoid shame are cognitive distortions or illusions. These individuals will act as if they are big deal, big shot, different, better. They will exagerate their actual potential and comment on their accomplishment over and over. They will deni or disminish every fact that puts them back in reality. When they do see reality as it is, they will feel very much disapointed on themselves and their narcissistic wound will be expressed as anger against others and shame against themselves.
More on personality disorders soon...
take care
